I am going to share with you something that I have felt God calling me to do but it has not be the right timing. Today was a big day. I broke. First time in a very long time I broke into such a rage that the body tremors lasted almost half a day. God made me very different than my family. Like most of the population I came from what would be considered a “broken home”. Divorced parents and of course each of them having their crazy to deal with. We all have our faults, I found no reason to speak about them. As I get older and the more I know and understand God the more I see. The more you see the more you understand. The more you understand your tolerance level for BS you take. my first conversation with God was at the age of 4. I would sneak off into the second living room we had and just talk with Him for hours. Once taking the pennies I had and holding them up to ceiling telling Him to take it. Not realizing that what I was doing was Biblical. I was more open to Him at the age of 4 than anyone else in my family combined. Over the years I have strayed and come back to Jesus as different milestones happened. My parents divorce made me the most committed to the church I was attending until I started dating my ex husband whom had literally forced me to choose between him and God at one point. I fell away from God for many years to find my life empty and meaningless. A brand new baby and move to Texas and I came running back to God with tenacity and famished hunger. I divorced my ex husband and slipped up here and there but you can never un-know things. By this point, I could never not hear God I could only choose whether to obey Him or not. So 1 surprise pregnancy at the same time of a bad break up and I choose to become extremely devoted to Him once again. A series of divine events took place. I randomly met Shane, I had a string of jobs each better than the last, my first and worst car accident where I was at fault quickly followed by a second. My newest chiropractor hired me on the spot as he was adjusting me from my accident. Shane taught me so much but he was battling his own demons and God brought him home sooner rather than later. Soon after I met my now fiance who was a patient in the Dr. office I was managing. At first he was my business partner and closest mentor, then it developed into us being inseparable. There hasn’t been a day since we started this adventure where we haven’t been together. The more you seek Him and understand Him the faster He moves in your life. This is so crazy, My original content of this post was entirely something else, this must be for someone reading this. I was going to explain what happened today to cause me to break but God wanted something else to come out. When you understand that you as a human can never ever be good enough to deserve God to be good to you, and you accept Him for the almighty God He is, then will you see just how quickly He moves on your behalf. Even if it seems bad at the time. (Romans 8:28) I want to know God so intimately, because of that He moved me to where I wanted to be and He needed me to be within a year. I recently have been adjusting to the few businesses we now have and the blending of the families while dealing with the negativity of the outside world. By His grace and mercy with me I am still standing and alive. Today I was deeply seeded with feelings and thought that what I feel now and what I am dealing with is to prep me for the task He has assigned me for my future. Moses had to live in the wilderness of the desert and learn how to survive first before he could lead a population through it. (Exodus 2:1-15) The faster you understand there is absolutely nothing you can do to be good enough or to “make” God do the thing you are praying for, the faster you’ll see Him taking you from where you are to where you never thought you’d be. Trust Him fully to not worry or have fear. This is piggy backing off what I was saying yesterday. Obey Him when you hear Him or discern His will. I lost many years of my life that I wish I could take back and give to Him. This life is so much better. I mean a thrill and joy and excitement beyond any amount of partying a person can have. Never feeling alone or unloved, even when you have been pushed to breaking point and sitting in your walk in closet bursting into a hard cry because you know the gravity of what you just had to do to fight for your family and their equality. Or that one time you where fully aware that you where overdosed and had to pray to God your heart didn’t explode. Guys I’m telling you I have pretty much been through it all. Not once did God ever leave me, He was merciful enough to not let me die that way. For sure would have not been in Heaven. He loved me enough to pick me up and clean me off and give me value and meaning and most of all PURPOSE. I am going to do something I have never done before. I am going to give all of you my email address. I encourage you guys to ask me questions about Jesus, just have conversations, if you just need to talk, to ask for prayers, etc. My email is PerfectPersonForTheJob@gmail.com I look forward to connecting with you guys!!!
Ok so missing the mark, what exactly does that mean? There is something I say frequently,” Off by a millimeter off by a mile!” I’ve written in depth the meaning of this. To wrap it up in a nutshell it’s a golfing term. If you hit the ball even the slightest but on the right or left the trajectory of the ball will be off by miles even from the destination of the hole. It’s all about angles and positioning. one of my favorite examples of this was a sermon I heard about fear. This highly elaborate and excited pastor was identifying fear. Well first what is fear? Fear is the OPPOSITE of Faith. (Pslam 56:3 ,23:4,27:1, 118:6, Ephesians 2:8-9, 2 Tim 1:7, Romans 10:27, 1 Corinth 10:13, Philip 4:6-7) All of these go into details about fear and Faith. To hit a mark we first must know what the mark is. As a Christian the “mark” is always Jesus and the Kingdom of God. Therefore, we must have correct doctrine. As this pastor proceeded with his energized sermon few things were pointed out by the Holy Spirit.
- he only acknowledge worldly fears
- he never touched scriptures about not having fear
- avoided the response when asking the congregation what they fear “stepping out of the will of God”
- didn’t once lead the congregation to the Jesus and why He died on the cross.
(Matthew 11:27, 28:18, Ephes 1:21, Coloss 2:10, John 17:2 go into depth about the authority given to us. )
This very energetic pastor was literally running around the church yelling with excitement holding the mic to random people in the audience asking their fears. Basic things came up; heights, bugs, reptiles, etc. I at this point had a very solid fearless mentor and my only response was fear God. Fear what not following Him will do to you. This was ignored. Yet the girl next to me stated spiders. this girl was his disciple for over 10 years. She followed his every word and command. He addressed her comment on the spot stating,” Not if your with me your not!” WAIT!!! She has been under your wing for 10 years and you didn’t know this fear of spiders of hers? She isn’t cured yet from it?
At this point the Holy Spirit had me squirming in my seat. I was uncomfortable. God will let you know when something isn’t right even if it sounds holy and imitates God’s Word. We aren’t supposed to FEAR. I mean we are human and we will have fear but it is to be fleeting. You cannot trust in God and be afraid of anything other than Him at the same time!!! See how easily we as Christians can be swayed away from Jesus? Can be a heartbeat and we forgot who God is. (Psalm 118:6) WHO shall I fear, if God is with me? I should fear no person!! I was reminded about how we as people are afraid of those in authority or of what people might say or think. If anything said or done is out for the will of God or His Word you must stand up, speak up, or disagree. To the response of the fear of bugs. internally I was stricken almost with disgust, SERIOUSLY? God SHUT THE MOUTHS of LIONS for Daniel. There is NO animal or insect God didn’t create. He has control and command of them all. So do you! I’m not saying deliberately place yourself in harms way. If you aren’t acting in the name and of the will of Jesus you simple are placing yourself in a compromising position. Yet still God will always have your best interest. How could someone be afraid of a thing yet not expect God to be with you. God is always bigger than your fears!!
Ok, well lets take this to another level. If you saw a demon would you run? I mean now a days satan has become harder to identify. People aren’t climbing walls and spinning heads most of the time. They just lie, steal, kill, cheat, etc. In the event you physically saw the appearance of a demon how would you be? No lie I would have to quickly get over my fear, because that is the first point of control of satan. To make you afraid so you lose Faith in God. I haven’t encountered this situation yet either. Now we are talking about the POWER of God. A foundation scripture for me is Luke 10:19 – Behold, I give unto you POWER to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over ALL the power of the enemy: AND NOTHING shall by ANY MEANS hurt you. Jesus Himself gives us this authority to bend satan to the Will of God. The only fear you can ever truly justify is the fear of God.
As the sermon was wrapped up, he has someone that had a fear of heights climb a ladder. I’m not sure what this proved or showed. This was the last sermon I ever sat through by this pastor. He missed the mark entirely!!! By missing the mark it proved his intent, the intention wasn’t to lead others to Jesus but to showboat himself as a pastoral leader.
JESUS, His Blood and WHY He died on the cross is the mark. Every stripe of on the back of Jesus is for everything that puts us in fear. One for Sickness, one for loneliness, one for depression, one for anxiety, etc. Ultimately, He dies on the cross, and we are never again to fear death. All of these things are taken care of and payed for by the Blood of Christ. He was the Perfect Sacrifice. By His Blood we are given the Holy Spirit. Jesus took fear and nailed it to the cross saying to us NO MORE!!! IT IS FINISHED!! We were given the authority OVER ALL THINGS.
Correct or incorrect doctrine? Besides being completely incorrect in his message he was totally missing the mark. Point all things to Jesus and the Cross. This brings me back to this….. off by a millimeter off by a mile. Somewhere in the beginning of his walk with Christ something was just a little bit off. Now, years later, he was way off by miles. This is why we are to ask, seek and knock for WISDOM and DISCERNMENT. You need to study the Word of God to be approved. Knowing the Word and knowing WHO GOD IS. Through that is how the Holy Spirit can let you know the TRUTH. Really take note when you allow the spirit of fear to feed you. Overcome it with Faith that no matter what the fear is God trumps it all.
Helloooooo you guys!!! I must say if I was looking at you I would most definitely say “you’re a sight for sore eyes” !!! I have been thinking about posting again multiple times a day for a long while now. Things have been so busy and many major changes have been made. I am truly finding out what I am made of. In all my busy fluster I have limited my time spent with God. I feel it drastically in my life. Like going through withdraws. I am taking things to the next level with my guy. Blending of families isn’t easy. My drive to succeed with my business has tapered over the month of Dec. but I am proud to say I am kicking up into gear again. I am reminded of Proverb 3 : 1 -12
My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments: 2 For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee. 3 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: 4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man. 5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. 8It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. 9 Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the first fruits of all thine increase: 10 So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine. 11 My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: 12 For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.
I trust the guidance of God. Though, I have acted upon my own accord in some accounts. Being impatient for things God had not told me no on but simply to wait. Obedience is better than sacrifice. (1 Samuel 15:22) I have been given many topics to touch base on. I have written none of them down. I pray I remember them all as I continue to share my journey with you. There is something that changes not just in you but it’s the way of God when you physically put pen to paper. Make sure you take note to the thoughts and conversations God has for you.
Hebrews 11:1 tells us exactly what faith is.
“Now faith is the substance of things hope for; the evidence of things not seen.” (KJV)
To further that let’s hop down to verse 3.
“Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the Word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. ” (KJV)
This brings us all the way back to Genesis 1:1
In order to have faith we need to know what it is. Not just know it but know what God considers faith. Memorize this scripture if anyone ever asks you what is faith you give them exactly what God views as faith.
Daniel 12:3 (KJV)
3 And they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever.
This came to me while having a conversation worth a body builder this morning. He made a comment about others new to the sport trying to instruct him. Actually, his exact words where, “…don’t try and coach me if you aren’t as strong as me.” God immediately dropped in me…. How often dies this happen in Faith? In churches? Financially? We often find that people that hold titles soak on behalf of things they really have no clue. My heart breaks when I let it sink in. This falls in conjunction worth sobering I call missing the mark, which is coming soon. I have such thankfulness for this morning turning out the way it did. I was reminded of something a pastor said to me once. He said that if I was given a Word from God, he wanted to use it. See I was filming originally to post to YouTube. (Before Shane came into my life) I was taken back! I thought, ” does God speak to you? Aren’t you a pastor? ” Come to find out if you ever tried to show him points of Truth in the Word and his actions. …. well it would end up heated and him concluding with “we’ll see where God leads us.” HAHAHA HA WELLLL DUUUHHHHH.God is in every detail, but also very specific about humbleness, brokenness, and pride!! (1 Peter 1:16) We are to sharpen each other as Christians. YES, you are to take to the side a fellow Christian that is slipping YES! (Leviticus 11:44) We are to bond together and build the Kingdom of God in Heaven. How are we to learn if we are the smartest person in your circle? My point is, don’t fall subject to being hindered by the ones that (1) aren’t TOTALLY scriptural and (2)listen to others that plateau in their walk, better yet backsliding. (Matthew 5:10-12) If God brings you the attention of others it’s SOLELY for HIS GLORY. Stay completely broken and humble before God. After all it’s how so many was cast out worry satan. (Isaiah 14:12-15 and Ezekiel 28:12-15) Where does your faith stand? Because of Shane and the way and what he taught me I can’t turn back. I KNOW what is Truth, how do I know? Because God’s Word confirms it. Holy Spirit confirms it. God, confirms it. Given to me among visions, dreams, and physically scolding me, (A story for another time ) and speaking and dropping things into my spirit. Why follow to talkers and not doers? Those who’s faith, worship, and relationship are not as strong as yours? DO NOT GET IT TWISTED!!! DO NOT BE ARROGANT!! You can learn and be given messages from ANYONE,ANYTHING, at ANYTIME. (Hebrews 13:5-6) Have the mentality of a student. Always be learning. Always seek to know more and don’t be quick to judge youth. Use discernment, wisdom, understanding, and seek the Truth of the Word of God and Jesus. Think about who you listen to. Think of who you allow to guide you. DON’T FALL BACK! If you try correcting a person in love, and they mock or rebel.well, what does the Bible say? (Matthew 10:14 and Luke 9:5) To kick the dust from your feet and move forward. Pray for them and yourself, daily for understanding, wisdom, discernment,and know the POWER of God as well as the Scriptures. (Matthew 22:29) Be a leader but never stop being a student. The only way is to be HUMBLE and broken. Nothing else in the world matters except where you end up. (Matthew 19:24, Mark 10:25) Don’t envy those on the slippery slop.(Matthew 5:12) Our rewards are in Heaven. God will always supply you with OVERFLOW. Those trusted worth little is trusted with much. Life and life in abundance (John 10:10, Matthew 6:33, Luke 6:38, James 1:17) And remember there is no way that any human can out teach our give better instruction than God,Jesus,and Holy Spirit. (Romans 8:14)
So bit of a story from last night. There is a young boy, I reposted on my fb, he is dying of stage 4 cancer. And the Holy Spirit in me was stirred up…. angry! I was on my way to a late night run to Walgreens to get a few things, and I was so lost in prayer and thought. I unintentionally slammed my items on the counter. As I made eye contact with the teenage cashier I start to apologize. He says to me, ” man I thought you were raging at me. You ok?” I assure him I’m fine, that a situation is consuming my thought. The post reads how the family is in torment. ( completely understand ) and all the prayer wishes are good. And all prayers are welcome. (Mine are going out there) But who is doing anything ABOUT IT? I was in my car ready to drives to this hospital in GA and lay hands on this baby and heal him. Who is filled with the Word enough and the Holy Spirit and believes without doubt, to go heal this boy? I was spurred even more thinking about how docile everyone’s coming off in the named of Jesus. WE ARE AT WAR, AND THE ENEMY LOSES! Do NOT let him trick you into thinking he has victory. HE IS A LIAR. MARK 16:17-18 ….. How do you know a follower of Jesus? BY THESE SIGNS. ABSOLUTELY, yes PRAY. But it’s a combination of many parts. PRAY,BELIEVE, TRUST, POWER. God through you. MATTHEW 22:29 Why do we DO ERR? MATTHEW 21:21 Can we do all things with FAITH yet DOUBT? Continue that to 22 AND what? ALL THINGS, WHATSOEVER you ask in prayer AND believing shall be GIVEN to you. Pray, seek, ask, knock…. BELIEVE. .. do not waiver in faith. My car transmission just went out and I’m not even worried about it. My concern is only about why the Christians today aren’t DOING what Jesus said we are to be doing. FATHER GOD, I WILL!! SEND ME, I WILL!!! Who am I Lord? I am NOTHING without You Jesus, I’m nothing without You Father God. ALL glory, praise and worship goes to You God, to You Jesus.
Psalm 121:1-2 (KJV)
121 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.2 My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.
1 Kings 20:22-23 (KJV)
22 And the prophet came to the king of Israel, and said unto him, Go, strengthen thyself, and mark, and see what thou doest: for at the return of the year the king of Syria will come up against thee.23 And the servants of the king of Syria said unto him, Their gods are gods of the hills; therefore they were stronger than we; but let us fight against them in the plain, and surely we shall be stronger than they.
Where do you limit God? Where do you believe He can’t or won’t win for you? He is the God over your family but not over your finances, God over your relationships but not over your hurt, etc.
To me this is about control. Can God do better than me type of thinking. OF COURSE!! I am learning how to keep faith in areas that concern me; finances, relationships, attitude, etc. The Bible tells us to be happy with our wages and work as if we are doing unto God Himself. (Luke 3:14, Colossians 3:23, Ephesians 6:7) Those who are trusted with little are trusted with much.(Matthew 25:14) I am continuously bring brought to the realization that I am not in complete and total surrender to Jesus. I still worry. I still have doubts. God it’s Your will, not mine, to be done in and throughout my life. I am in deep prayer and thought about the steps it takes to let God have control over ALL areas in my life. Am I influencing the outcome of a particular situation. Does my words and my actions reflect Jesus, and the love of Jesus? Are others seeing God in me?
Holy Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus Christ. I ask You Lord to help me to release to You ALL areas of my life. To let go of my own will and trust Yours. I seek and ask for Your help in my loneliness, my finances, raising my kids, and sticking to Your will. I need You Jesus. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for Your Blood. Thank You for my kids and all the blessing You have given me. All good things come from You Lord. I ask all these in the Holy and Righteous name of Jesus Christ. AMEN
16 my inmost being will rejoice
when your lips speak what is right.
17 Do not let your heart envy sinners,
but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord.
18 There is surely a future hope for you,
and your hope will not be cut off.
Ask Jesus for His ears and mouth!
The situations where I feel I most feel I can’t speak my mind is at work.
The situation where I feel I usually say too much is when I’m over stressing my point.
The place I want the Holy Spirit to speak through me is when someone is around me and God has a message for them. Point to Jesus.
Dear Heavily Father I come to you in the name of Jesus. I ask Father, for the eyes and and ears of Jesus. I ask and seek that You help me see others with pure love and compassion the way Jesus did. I ask God, for the ears to listen without intention to respond. I mean REALLY listen to others. I seek Your wisdom, understanding,POWER and discernment. I ask Lord, that when I speak that it is You that people hear. I pray Father God that by the Holy Spirit that the words that come from me are not from me but YOU. I love you God, thank You for Your son Jesus. Thank You Jesus for Your Blood. Thank You for the Holy Spirit, that You sent to dwell within me. God, I seek Your presence. I ask You to use me and my life for Your Glory!!! To lead others to You. Jesus, You say that we are to all You did and MORE while You where here on this earth. God, Matthew 22:29 says that we perish because we do not know the scriptures AND the power of God. I ask you for the knowledge of correct doctrine of Your Word and Your Power. Lord, I give my all to You. Jesus, I am nothing without You. Thank You for loving me. I ask for all of these things in the Holy and Righteous name of Jesus Christ. AMEN
Psalm 50:1-3 King James Version (KJV)
50 The mighty God, even the Lord, hath spoken, and called the earth from the rising of the sun unto the going down thereof.2 Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God hath shined.3 Our God shall come, and shall not keep silence: a fire shall devour before him, and it shall be very tempestuous round about him.
So the journal entry this day was to write about what the most difficult challenges are going on right now in your life.
- Shane passing
- needing to move
- What now in life
- Financial prosperity
- Finding alone time to be with God and in His Word
What are some of your greatest blessings?
- My kids
- having a decent job
- The teachings of Shane
- The people God placed in my life
- Gaining understanding and wisdom
Then I was to pray asking for peace and thankful for my blessings. I am a FIRM believer in physically WRITING things down (again another Shane teaching). I have written everything daily including prayers.
Dear Heavenly Father I come to You in the Holy and Righteous name of Jesus Christ. I ask God, that You show me how my blessings from You can bring hope and light and life back into my life. Please, Father, bring me Grace to face the world at Your side. Father, I ask You to draw close to me as I draw closer to You Lord. I ask in Your son’s name Jesus, that You give me understanding, wisdom,discernment, and knowledge of Your POWER. Like You did with Shane. God, You called him friend, like You did Moses, and used his life to show Your Glory, Mercy, Love, and Righteousness. I seek this same relationship with You Jesus. I seek this same closeness with You God. Thank You Lord for Your many and great blessings in my life. I pray these things in the name of Jesus. AMEN!