I am going to share with you something that I have felt God calling me to do but it has not be the right timing. Today was a big day. I broke. First time in a very long time I broke into such a rage that the body tremors lasted almost half a day. God made me very different than my family. Like most of the population I came from what would be considered a “broken home”. Divorced parents and of course each of them having their crazy to deal with. We all have our faults, I found no reason to speak about them. As I get older and the more I know and understand God the more I see. The more you see the more you understand. The more you understand your tolerance level for BS you take. my first conversation with God was at the age of 4. I would sneak off into the second living room we had and just talk with Him for hours. Once taking the pennies I had and holding them up to ceiling telling Him to take it. Not realizing that what I was doing was Biblical. I was more open to Him at the age of 4 than anyone else in my family combined. Over the years I have strayed and come back to Jesus as different milestones happened. My parents divorce made me the most committed to the church I was attending until I started dating my ex husband whom had literally forced me to choose between him and God at one point. I fell away from God for many years to find my life empty and meaningless. A brand new baby and move to Texas and I came running back to God with tenacity and famished hunger. I divorced my ex husband and slipped up here and there but you can never un-know things. By this point, I could never not hear God I could only choose whether to obey Him or not. So 1 surprise pregnancy at the same time of a bad break up and I choose to become extremely devoted to Him once again. A series of divine events took place. I randomly met Shane, I had a string of jobs each better than the last, my first and worst car accident where I was at fault quickly followed by a second. My newest chiropractor hired me on the spot as he was adjusting me from my accident. Shane taught me so much but he was battling his own demons and God brought him home sooner rather than later. Soon after I met my now fiance who was a patient in the Dr. office I was managing. At first he was my business partner and closest mentor, then it developed into us being inseparable. There hasn’t been a day since we started this adventure where we haven’t been together. The more you seek Him and understand Him the faster He moves in your life. This is so crazy, My original content of this post was entirely something else, this must be for someone reading this. I was going to explain what happened today to cause me to break but God wanted something else to come out. When you understand that you as a human can never ever be good enough to deserve God to be good to you, and you accept Him for the almighty God He is, then will you see just how quickly He moves on your behalf. Even if it seems bad at the time. (Romans 8:28) I want to know God so intimately, because of that He moved me to where I wanted to be and He needed me to be within a year. I recently have been adjusting to the few businesses we now have and the blending of the families while dealing with the negativity of the outside world. By His grace and mercy with me I am still standing and alive. Today I was deeply seeded with feelings and thought that what I feel now and what I am dealing with is to prep me for the task He has assigned me for my future. Moses had to live in the wilderness of the desert and learn how to survive first before he could lead a population through it. (Exodus 2:1-15) The faster you understand there is absolutely nothing you can do to be good enough or to “make” God do the thing you are praying for, the faster you’ll see Him taking you from where you are to where you never thought you’d be. Trust Him fully to not worry or have fear. This is piggy backing off what I was saying yesterday. Obey Him when you hear Him or discern His will. I lost many years of my life that I wish I could take back and give to Him. This life is so much better. I mean a thrill and joy and excitement beyond any amount of partying a person can have. Never feeling alone or unloved, even when you have been pushed to breaking point and sitting in your walk in closet bursting into a hard cry because you know the gravity of what you just had to do to fight for your family and their equality. Or that one time you where fully aware that you where overdosed and had to pray to God your heart didn’t explode. Guys I’m telling you I have pretty much been through it all. Not once did God ever leave me, He was merciful enough to not let me die that way. For sure would have not been in Heaven. He loved me enough to pick me up and clean me off and give me value and meaning and most of all PURPOSE. I am going to do something I have never done before. I am going to give all of you my email address. I encourage you guys to ask me questions about Jesus, just have conversations, if you just need to talk, to ask for prayers, etc. My email is PerfectPersonForTheJob@gmail.com I look forward to connecting with you guys!!!
God is an awesome God, He reigns over Heaven and earth with wisdom, power, and love. Our God is am awesome God!!
I lay here tired but can’t sleep. This my nightly fight. Waiting for sleep to befriend me. As I lay in the dark, my eyes sting with exhaustion, I pray with an overwhelmed heart, brimming with humbled thanks to Jesus. I am so thankful for my life, my children, my man, and for the many many blessings of God. Every night I feel just how small I am on this earth yet just how much God’s love abounds in my life. I daily fight my flesh. The last few weeks I’ve been fighting off infection and have been quite sluggish and lazy. It was yesterday that I realized that this was a sneaky attack of the enemy slowing the progress of my business and shadowing my leadership. Yet every night, I lay awake in my mind as my physical body is beyond tired thinking about the wondrous and glorious blessings and gifts God has given me. The thing I learned the most from Shane’s death was that time is the most valued commodity we have. God is so good that He allows me to breath, for my heart to beat, and gives me sound mind. My children are safe, alive, and well. My Husband to be its absolutely amazing. God has blessed me with things I sought after and more. I recognize that I am with His favor to even live in this Era or even with this freedom to own a business that is centered around Him. Helping as many ppl as I can save and make money from home. God is in every fiber of my life the good and bad. Yet, nothing is truly bad for a child of God. God took what was tragic and flipped it into something even greater than I ever thought possible. When I think back over my lifetime I can clearly see Him guiding and leading the steps of life even in the valley’s.
9 “This is what the LORD Almighty said: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. 10 Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the foreigner or the poor. Do not plot evil against each other
17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity
28 Then Agrippa said to Paul, “Do you think that in such a short time you can persuade me to be a Christian?” 29 Paul replied, “Short time or long—I pray to God that not only you but all who are listening to me today may become what I am, except for these chains.”
Revelation tells of war and wrath and chaos….. my heart is saddened and hurting for ppl as a nation. Where those who’ve done nothing are catching the rage of others who are too caught up in their feelings about the trespasses of others….. non connected to them. This shows not only the ignorance of the population… but the totality of mindset of the world….. satan has his way with 98% of the population and it sickens me. I true test of who you are is how you react and how influenced you are by others instead of having control of yourself and thoughts. I pass over the posts now bc I can’t physically handle it anymore. Gits I’ve only been back to social media for like 6 months. Create an don’t ignore what’s going on…. but make your page a sage and joyous page to uplift and inspire others to be better in their life.
11 Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man.” I was cupbearer to the king
Isaiah 58:11 – 12 (KJV)
11 And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not. 12 And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.
I feel this this pull, God reminding me at every corner how my calling is for Him. I love Him so much. I am not sure how you guys feel about christian dubstep / house music but it is pretty awesome. I am HUGE HUGE music person. I have trained to sing and dance since I was 4. God will use these talents one day soon. (1 Peter 4:10) I find myself falling in love with Jesus over and over again. Remember that we are the BRIDE of Christ. there is a ROMANCE that transpires. (Gen. 28:10-22, Exod. 3:1-17, John 21:15, John1:29, Ephis. 5:27) God is so AMAZING guys. You can’t tell me there is no water in a pool I’m already swimming in. He continually is lifting me up when I feel abandoned and unsure. With my business and in my life I have been overlooking the progress and being thankful for what is happening. Feeling like I need to be farther, and do more, and have faster results, etc. The fact that I am so selfish is so disheartening. How can I even be so ungrateful to my God? I love the romance I have with Jesus. Like my husband he ensures and encourages. Like my best friend He defends me, and lifts me up. Like my lover, He wraps around me and tenderly loves unconditionally. Being my God, He commands my life and graciously shows me how much I need Him every second of every day. Have you ever been so absorbed into something others called you obsessed? I have…Be obsessed with Jesus. Out of all the things I have been told I am “obsessed” with my favorite is JESUS. hahaha from fitness, to business….. my truest obsession is God. As I follow His path for my life, I have found so much happiness at the purest submission to God. Standing my ground even when I have oppressors and nay sayers. Jesus is who defines me, guides me and instructs my life. THANK GOD!!! Blinded by the light (Acts 9:1-19) now I can SEE for real!