I am going to share with you something that I have felt God calling me to do but it has not be the right timing. Today was a big day. I broke. First time in a very long time I broke into such a rage that the body tremors lasted almost half a day. God made me very different than my family. Like most of the population I came from what would be considered a “broken home”. Divorced parents and of course each of them having their crazy to deal with. We all have our faults, I found no reason to speak about them. As I get older and the more I know and understand God the more I see. The more you see the more you understand. The more you understand your tolerance level for BS you take. my first conversation with God was at the age of 4. I would sneak off into the second living room we had and just talk with Him for hours. Once taking the pennies I had and holding them up to ceiling telling Him to take it. Not realizing that what I was doing was Biblical. I was more open to Him at the age of 4 than anyone else in my family combined. Over the years I have strayed and come back to Jesus as different milestones happened. My parents divorce made me the most committed to the church I was attending until I started dating my ex husband whom had literally forced me to choose between him and God at one point. I fell away from God for many years to find my life empty and meaningless. A brand new baby and move to Texas and I came running back to God with tenacity and famished hunger. I divorced my ex husband and slipped up here and there but you can never un-know things. By this point, I could never not hear God I could only choose whether to obey Him or not. So 1 surprise pregnancy at the same time of a bad break up and I choose to become extremely devoted to Him once again. A series of divine events took place. I randomly met Shane, I had a string of jobs each better than the last, my first and worst car accident where I was at fault quickly followed by a second. My newest chiropractor hired me on the spot as he was adjusting me from my accident. Shane taught me so much but he was battling his own demons and God brought him home sooner rather than later. Soon after I met my now fiance who was a patient in the Dr. office I was managing. At first he was my business partner and closest mentor, then it developed into us being inseparable. There hasn’t been a day since we started this adventure where we haven’t been together. The more you seek Him and understand Him the faster He moves in your life. This is so crazy, My original content of this post was entirely something else, this must be for someone reading this. I was going to explain what happened today to cause me to break but God wanted something else to come out. When you understand that you as a human can never ever be good enough to deserve God to be good to you, and you accept Him for the almighty God He is, then will you see just how quickly He moves on your behalf. Even if it seems bad at the time. (Romans 8:28) I want to know God so intimately, because of that He moved me to where I wanted to be and He needed me to be within a year. I recently have been adjusting to the few businesses we now have and the blending of the families while dealing with the negativity of the outside world. By His grace and mercy with me I am still standing and alive. Today I was deeply seeded with feelings and thought that what I feel now and what I am dealing with is to prep me for the task He has assigned me for my future. Moses had to live in the wilderness of the desert and learn how to survive first before he could lead a population through it. (Exodus 2:1-15) The faster you understand there is absolutely nothing you can do to be good enough or to “make” God do the thing you are praying for, the faster you’ll see Him taking you from where you are to where you never thought you’d be. Trust Him fully to not worry or have fear. This is piggy backing off what I was saying yesterday. Obey Him when you hear Him or discern His will. I lost many years of my life that I wish I could take back and give to Him. This life is so much better. I mean a thrill and joy and excitement beyond any amount of partying a person can have. Never feeling alone or unloved, even when you have been pushed to breaking point and sitting in your walk in closet bursting into a hard cry because you know the gravity of what you just had to do to fight for your family and their equality. Or that one time you where fully aware that you where overdosed and had to pray to God your heart didn’t explode. Guys I’m telling you I have pretty much been through it all. Not once did God ever leave me, He was merciful enough to not let me die that way. For sure would have not been in Heaven. He loved me enough to pick me up and clean me off and give me value and meaning and most of all PURPOSE. I am going to do something I have never done before. I am going to give all of you my email address. I encourage you guys to ask me questions about Jesus, just have conversations, if you just need to talk, to ask for prayers, etc. My email is PerfectPersonForTheJob@gmail.com I look forward to connecting with you guys!!!
My family and I have been really digging into the ministries of Creflo and Taffi Dollar. Today, as we were watching via online streaming connected to our big screen tv. I was reminded of something that Shane instilled in me in so many ways. Fearlessness!!! Pastor Dollar has been working on a series of spiritual blindness. Now as I can say much on the topic and relay all I understand and know about it, I will keep it simple. Fear is the only foothold the enemy has so he can enter your life. Fear is what holds you and binds you to your sickness, poverty, anger, depression, etc. In the words of Pastor Creflo Dollar,” Fear brings hopelessness, fear will contaminate your faith.” See the biggest take away I have ever gained from anyone who has ever ministered or fed me was the absolute fearlessness Shane instilled. Knowledge is the key. Ignorance to the Word of God means you will acquire a very large debt to the enemy. I like to use the speeding example. If you are pulled over for speeding and you tell the cop you never saw the sign does that stop the officer from giving you a ticket? The answer to that is no, you still get a ticket and you learn the lesson. (Hosea 4:6, Matthew 22:29) We parish because we do not gain understanding and knowledge of God’s Word. One thing I admire still to this day is Shane’s absolute fearlessness when it comes to the promises of God. I can say that when it comes to finding jobs or relationships I am pretty fearless. The trust I have in God far out ways the fear of being penniless or with no relationship, etc. GOD IS GREATER than ALL THINGS!!
1 John 2:15-17King James Version (KJV)
15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.
Ok so missing the mark, what exactly does that mean? There is something I say frequently,” Off by a millimeter off by a mile!” I’ve written in depth the meaning of this. To wrap it up in a nutshell it’s a golfing term. If you hit the ball even the slightest but on the right or left the trajectory of the ball will be off by miles even from the destination of the hole. It’s all about angles and positioning. one of my favorite examples of this was a sermon I heard about fear. This highly elaborate and excited pastor was identifying fear. Well first what is fear? Fear is the OPPOSITE of Faith. (Pslam 56:3 ,23:4,27:1, 118:6, Ephesians 2:8-9, 2 Tim 1:7, Romans 10:27, 1 Corinth 10:13, Philip 4:6-7) All of these go into details about fear and Faith. To hit a mark we first must know what the mark is. As a Christian the “mark” is always Jesus and the Kingdom of God. Therefore, we must have correct doctrine. As this pastor proceeded with his energized sermon few things were pointed out by the Holy Spirit.
- he only acknowledge worldly fears
- he never touched scriptures about not having fear
- avoided the response when asking the congregation what they fear “stepping out of the will of God”
- didn’t once lead the congregation to the Jesus and why He died on the cross.
(Matthew 11:27, 28:18, Ephes 1:21, Coloss 2:10, John 17:2 go into depth about the authority given to us. )
This very energetic pastor was literally running around the church yelling with excitement holding the mic to random people in the audience asking their fears. Basic things came up; heights, bugs, reptiles, etc. I at this point had a very solid fearless mentor and my only response was fear God. Fear what not following Him will do to you. This was ignored. Yet the girl next to me stated spiders. this girl was his disciple for over 10 years. She followed his every word and command. He addressed her comment on the spot stating,” Not if your with me your not!” WAIT!!! She has been under your wing for 10 years and you didn’t know this fear of spiders of hers? She isn’t cured yet from it?
At this point the Holy Spirit had me squirming in my seat. I was uncomfortable. God will let you know when something isn’t right even if it sounds holy and imitates God’s Word. We aren’t supposed to FEAR. I mean we are human and we will have fear but it is to be fleeting. You cannot trust in God and be afraid of anything other than Him at the same time!!! See how easily we as Christians can be swayed away from Jesus? Can be a heartbeat and we forgot who God is. (Psalm 118:6) WHO shall I fear, if God is with me? I should fear no person!! I was reminded about how we as people are afraid of those in authority or of what people might say or think. If anything said or done is out for the will of God or His Word you must stand up, speak up, or disagree. To the response of the fear of bugs. internally I was stricken almost with disgust, SERIOUSLY? God SHUT THE MOUTHS of LIONS for Daniel. There is NO animal or insect God didn’t create. He has control and command of them all. So do you! I’m not saying deliberately place yourself in harms way. If you aren’t acting in the name and of the will of Jesus you simple are placing yourself in a compromising position. Yet still God will always have your best interest. How could someone be afraid of a thing yet not expect God to be with you. God is always bigger than your fears!!
Ok, well lets take this to another level. If you saw a demon would you run? I mean now a days satan has become harder to identify. People aren’t climbing walls and spinning heads most of the time. They just lie, steal, kill, cheat, etc. In the event you physically saw the appearance of a demon how would you be? No lie I would have to quickly get over my fear, because that is the first point of control of satan. To make you afraid so you lose Faith in God. I haven’t encountered this situation yet either. Now we are talking about the POWER of God. A foundation scripture for me is Luke 10:19 – Behold, I give unto you POWER to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over ALL the power of the enemy: AND NOTHING shall by ANY MEANS hurt you. Jesus Himself gives us this authority to bend satan to the Will of God. The only fear you can ever truly justify is the fear of God.
As the sermon was wrapped up, he has someone that had a fear of heights climb a ladder. I’m not sure what this proved or showed. This was the last sermon I ever sat through by this pastor. He missed the mark entirely!!! By missing the mark it proved his intent, the intention wasn’t to lead others to Jesus but to showboat himself as a pastoral leader.
JESUS, His Blood and WHY He died on the cross is the mark. Every stripe of on the back of Jesus is for everything that puts us in fear. One for Sickness, one for loneliness, one for depression, one for anxiety, etc. Ultimately, He dies on the cross, and we are never again to fear death. All of these things are taken care of and payed for by the Blood of Christ. He was the Perfect Sacrifice. By His Blood we are given the Holy Spirit. Jesus took fear and nailed it to the cross saying to us NO MORE!!! IT IS FINISHED!! We were given the authority OVER ALL THINGS.
Correct or incorrect doctrine? Besides being completely incorrect in his message he was totally missing the mark. Point all things to Jesus and the Cross. This brings me back to this….. off by a millimeter off by a mile. Somewhere in the beginning of his walk with Christ something was just a little bit off. Now, years later, he was way off by miles. This is why we are to ask, seek and knock for WISDOM and DISCERNMENT. You need to study the Word of God to be approved. Knowing the Word and knowing WHO GOD IS. Through that is how the Holy Spirit can let you know the TRUTH. Really take note when you allow the spirit of fear to feed you. Overcome it with Faith that no matter what the fear is God trumps it all.
I wanted to tell you guys about something that God gave me the other day. First, when you have a thought that isn’t of your own accord that is God speaking. Allow me to begin with that, because my thought process at that time was far from what God had given me. Honestly, I was frustrated and mad at something to do with the kids when BOOM there was a “random” thought. I always know when it’s God because it will pertain to something I had thought previously , sometimes by many years, or had never spoken about before. When I get upset I tend to clean. There I was, going over the whatever had just happened with one of the kids over and over in my mind. A bit angrily scrubbing the counters in the kitchen, when God placed this thought in my mind;
We have already been given the POWER and AUTHORITY to preform signs and wonders (Luke 10:19, Matthew 28:18)
This was a statement to something I knock around in my mind often for many many many years. usually the question “When” and “How” are the predominant questions I think about doing what Jesus did. I also used to think maybe we aren’t close enough to God. How close to God would one have to be to preform like Jesus did here on the earth? Was there anyone “good” enough to be worthy to raise the dead? Heal the sick? ETC. …. These are the thoughts that rolled around in my mind for close to ten years now. I always thought I will be one God uses in such ways one day. When I know the Word better or by heart? When I never forget to pray? When I stop life from distracting me? This brings me to mindset. Like have the keys to the car of your dreams in your hand but you feel like you don’t deserve to drive it. Or you keep it right where it is so that you don’t risk crashing it. Or you think the keys go to an entirely different car all together. We have been given in our hands the POWER and AUTHORITY to not know every scripture of the Bible and still walk up to a paraplegic and in the name of JESUS tell them to get up and walk!!! Understanding this and KNOWING without DOUBT that you have every right and authority to command the lame to walk is the key. Matthew 21:21 Jesus says it plain as day. If you tell a mountain to move from here to there with NO doubt it will move. 1 Corinth 13:2 also speaks of faith without doubt. I’ll go a bit more in depth about this scripture later, but for now. I say don’t be afraid to step out undoubtedly in faith and allow God to do the miraculous through you!!! To be like Jesus, you must DO as Jesus DID while He was on this earth!
13 Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.
”Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NIV)