Job 42:1-6 (KJV)
42 Then Job answered the Lord, and said,2 I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee.3 Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.4 Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.5 I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee.6 Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.
Write doubts and fears about your Faith. Be honest and open with God, He already knows. Then talk to Him about them. It will strengthen your Faith and Belief in Him.
I can say that I had doubt for Shane at times. I have doubted God and what He was doing with us. I doubted His timing, and was impatient with my own desires. Shane passing has was the biggest wake up call to my life. God showed me where I was disobedient and proud and arrogant. It broke me, broke my heart so completely. I broke because I hurt my Shane and most of all God in those times of rebellion. I fear that because of my backslides and my past God won’t use me. I struggle with my own sins and desires. I feel terrible when I don’t devote time with God, or get swept up in life. If I think I wasn’t brave enough to talk to others about Jesus. I worry that I don’t seek Him hard enough or strong enough or long enough. I struggle to be more like Jesus, like Shane. I want that closeness and relationship with God. Lord, You know my heart and what I need in this life. Give me the strength to endure it and bless what is meant for Your glory Father.